Lecoqoscope

New year, new resolutions.

Well actually new year, exactly the same resolutions as last year. Loose weight, learn french, finish the novel, get fit, blah, blah blah.

Thanks heavens I can look to the stars for cosmic guidance...

Capricorn (Dec 23-Jan 19)

Still plodding away there, eh, Capricorn? Ah, the little goat has many mountains to climb before it can find it's dream, and this year starts with foam related ones. No, not FAME... FOAM. Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!


Aquarius (Jan 20 - Feb 19)

You're are sparking on all 27 of your creative cylinders at the moment and are fearsome to behold. Just be careful not to trample others in the process, but this should be a great year for you. Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!

Pisces (Feb 20 - March 20)

Something seems rather fishy. Yes, fishy. Something, somewhere is not quite right and it's up to you to find out what. You have a lot to do, but don't do anything yet. Bide your time and all will become clear over the following weeks. Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!

Aries (March 21 - April 20)

There you are, floating around dreamily again. Stop it! It's time to come down to earth, smell the coffee and start listening to other people's ideas in autocours. Ok, we all know you're the next Peter Brook or Paola, but just for the moment remember that other people sometime have good ideas too. Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!

Taurus (April 21 - May 21)

You will meet your match this year whether in love, work or the realm of the spirits. Prepare yourself for a big cosmic punch as the planets collide over Mauri 7 and start raining down men. If you're still smoking stop now before the ban comes in. Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!

Gemini (May 22 - June 22)

You're being pulled in all directions and are not quite sure which one to go in. Stop take a breath and try and think of yourself for a moment. Rushing headlong into decisions after presure from others won't, ultimately, help you or them. Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!

Cancer (June 23 - July 23)

Scuttling along happily we've hardly noticed how far you've got, Cancer. Now is your time to take the spotlight and accept the due praise for your actions. Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!


Leo (July 24 - August 23)

Oh Leo, Leo, Leo. What are we going to do with you, you big bully? Calm down and remember that sometimes other people are right too! Ok, we know it's usually you who wins in the end, but all that confidence can sometimes hurt peoples' feelings. Be careful. No matter how well padded they seem this term you can still cause a dent. Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!

Virgo (August 24 - September 23)

Phew!! You are hot and sexy at the moment, and it's only going to got hotter in the coming months with the new moon circling your planet. If you want it, or him/her, you can get it. Nothing can stand in your way. Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!

Libra (September 24 - October 23)

Stop having sex with strangers! That's all I have to say. Just stop it.
Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!

Scorpio (October - November 22)

This year will be a tricky one for you Scorpio. Sometimes it will feel like you're not getting anywhere, in work, in love, in life. You'll feel like you're just treading water - and often your feelings will be quite right. Just remember though, horoscopes are a load of bollocks. Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!

Sagittaruis (November 23 - December 22)

Navel gazing again? Thought so. Well, a little gazing at one's belly button can be forgiven from time to time. Just remember though, there is a world out there and perhaps it's a little bit more interesting from time to time than your belly. Prepare to get hot and sweaty this term!