One more term

I cannot tell you what bliss it is to be able to cross the road without being followed by 26 americans. Thank heavens that is over. The plus side is that it makes me fully apreciate and look forward to getting back to school. J'hate, I believe the term is in french.

I filled in my spotlight form today. (I don't look as good in reality as in the photo. Same problem with my passport photo. I foolishly put on make-up and had it taken in black and white so I look quite nice, over pouty, but nice. When I go through the passport checks, espcially on the French side, the people checking always do a double take and look incredulously from the nice photo to the bedraggled reality in front of them and then swipe the passport through a machine to check it really is me.)

£124 for my picture in a book for casting directors to ignore. Ugh. I am really not looking forward to my blissful two years of living in France and doing what I love every day ending, to going back to scurrying around London, skint, trying to juggle 100 things at once- looking for acting work, writing letters, doing my day a week in my co-operative agency, temping and a thousand other hideous, badly- paid temporary jobs. It's like looking down from heaven into hell and knowing the fall is inevitable. I really hope that I'm able to take some perspective on it all, to make some big changes and not just go back to things exactly as they were before. Because Paris is so much cheaper it's possible to have a decent quality of life here. In London as soon as you walk out the door it costs £50, and the door itself won't be cheap.

I just want to stay here forever and work with Monouchkine. (Went and saw Les Iphermeres again yesterday. Still brilliant even after only 5 hours sleep.) I want, I want.... don't you just hate whingy actors.